News That Changes Everything

I'm not sure why we hold on to this life as tightly as we do; it is just a temporary place.  A home, a reliable car, money in the bank and a family are comforting to have.  It can be easy to forget that God promises a heck of a lot better for those who believe.  

Driving home from our appointment with Dr. Zuckerman, I felt numb so I asked Zach what he was feeling.  His response: reality.  That summed it up for me too.  Exactly 3 months ago today we met with Dr. Zuckerman to hear the diagnosis of stage IV cancer.  The past 12 weeks have been a whirlwind of chemotherapy, radiation, feeding tube complications, scans, late night ER visits (why can't things go wrong at noon?!) and treatment side effects.  But during that time we were able to hold on to the hope that everything Zach was facing would bring a promising outcome.  That is why today's reality is numbing for me.  

Zach's lymph nodes have not responded as well as we had hoped to the chemotherapy.  Although the chemo did kill some cancer cells, it had little affect on others.  We knew 3 months ago that Zach was going to receive the most aggressive type of treatment MSTI could offer.  So if his lymph nodes didn't respond positively then we would need to leave the area for a clinical trial.  That time has now come.  

Zach will finish out the school year with a different type of chemotherapy.  This 8-week period will buy us some time to research clinical trials and give Zach the chance to save his job and benefits.  (We are thankful it is already April and we are not placed in the situation of needing to leave the area in October!)  This summer will be our opportunity to attack the cancer with a different treatment.  Seattle, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, UCLA/Cedars-Sinai and Houston are all possibilities.  Their hospitals offer a great number of clinical trial--500 in some cases.  We do have extended family in Seattle and California so we would likely try one of those areas.  

I ask for prayer for the right clinical trial for Zach.  A good fit in my mind would be a place where we have extended family.  Somehow Houston in July doesn't sound like an answer to prayer :)  Please also pray that God guides Dr. Zuckerman as he researches trials for us.  Lastly, pray for hope for our family.  I don't know how long Zach has.  This news really changes everything for us and greatly concerns me.  When I think about Oliver and Max growing up without their dad I am gently reminded not to hold onto such a temporary life.  Greater things are yet to come.  

Thank you for your support and your prayers.  

Zach and Oliver enjoying a story before nap time.  

Max!

Zach and Max.

Zach and Oliver built a pillow fort one afternoon after school.  Oliver left to take a bath…and Zach fell asleep.