Difficult Decisions Ahead

Zach and I were fully prepared for Friday's bad news.  We have been acutely aware of his declining health the last 2 months; the ER trip, stomach bug, throat infection, weight loss and increased pain all meant something was wrong.  Even though we were not surprised by the scan results it was still very hard to hear the news.    

The cancer has continued to spread further into the lymph nodes and the liver.  Our options in Boise are quickly running out.  The final treatment that Boise is not promising.  It is extremely toxic, much like the chemoball was earlier this year.  Zach has already received 2 components of the drugs in earlier treatments.  They did not help him then; we fear they will not help him now.  The side effects sound pretty awful.  I have enjoyed how alive and active Zach has been these last few months.  It makes my heart hurt to have him face side effects that truly affect his quality of life.   

Seattle still has not identified whether Zach qualifies for clinical trail #1.  There was a mistake in the lab and the sample needs to be retested.  A spot for Zach in clinical trail #2 may become available in November.  However, if Zach progresses too much further downhill he will no longer be a viable candidate for trail #2.  

We are weighing our options.  It's a fine balance deciding between Zach's quality of life and treatments with nasty side effects that offer little hope.  No one wants to feel like they're giving up.  But at what point do you choose to enjoy the time you have left with the people you love rather than pursue further options that offer little hope and terrible side effects?  

I appreciate your offers of help--at this time we really are doing okay.  Dinner usually finds its way onto the table one way or another.  We desperately need prayers for direction though!  Some difficult decisions needs to be made in the next week.  

We spent this morning at the Eagle fire department's open house. Oliver climbed in the fire engines, met several firefighters and ate lots of junk food.  A great way to spend a Saturday!

 I asked Oliver what he was doing and he said, "I hold daddy."  

 Everyone deserves a treat now and then.

 He cried big, sad tears when I took it away.  

 Zach and I went to the BSU game with our friends Dennis and Melanie Koch.  We really appreciate BSU football for treating us to the game!

 Waiting for the garbage man is a Monday morning tradition in this household!

 Max at Jabbers.  Precious and adorable as usual.

 Max doing a little grocery shopping. 

Testing the waters with finger foods.  

I spent a lovely weekend in McCall with even lovelier friends.  So much fun to get away for a few days.